Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Love You Grandma
I didn't think I would be able to write this for a while and actually make it through, but I just needed to get some clarity. Don't expect eloquence or even coherency. Grandma had a blood clot in her heart, a massive heart attack, and has passed away suddenly today. I can't believe this happened. I thought I would have my grandma for many many years to come. She was so vibrant and alive, it still seems surreal. Grandma was so much fun and always kept me on my toes. I am grateful for the time I have had with her over the last few years to really get to know her better and for my children to know her. We have spent probably at least 75% of the last Thursdays with her for the past few years and those are times I will cherish forever. My kids love their GG. I know everything I am feeling is pure selfishness, because I know beyond doubt that she is with her husband, who she hasn't seen for 20 years, her parents, and her siblings. I know that she is happier. I know that she was ready to go. But. it. sucks. I wish I could have seen her one more time. Hugged her one more time. Gone to lunch with her once more. But I guess that would never really be enough either. I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday and did hear her say that she loves me and I was able to say it back, at least I have that. My heart is just broken, I don't even know what to do. I guess just stay really busy and try not to dwell on it. This post isn't really supposed to be about me, it was supposed to be about her and how great she was. I will have to post more about her when my thoughts are a little more clear, but for now- I love you grandma.
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8 comments:
I am so sorry Amber. Don't just stay busy with other things, deal with this like you should. It's okay to cry about it and dwell on it for a little while. You're just remember your grandma. From what I gathered talking to you she had alot of spunk and I'm sure she was a great woman. I hope you feel better soon. Call if you need.
Oh Amber, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma! Take Bre's advice... she's smart :)
I'm so sorry Amber. Please call me if you need to talk about her, you, or anything else. Whatever it takes to mourn your loss and keep her memory alive.
Amber, I'm so so sory for your loss. My husband just lost both of his grandparents within the past month, so I understand the overwhelming sadness. Just try to remember all of the great memories and how much it probably meant to her that you spent Thursdays together. We'll be praying for your family.
I love you Amber
Amber I'm so sad for you! I can't imagine what you guys are going through. We are just so blessed to have the gospel and to know that we will be reunited with our family again! Please let me know if you need anything!
AMBER! So so sorry to hear about this. She sounds like she was a very special person...reading your description of her it sounds like you must have some of her in you! I lost my Grandpa last year, you will find that there will be occasions that you just know they are there smiling at something your kids said that sounds just like her or helping you along the way...Aren't we gad we know we'll see eachother again someday!
Lots of hugs,
Caroline
I'm so sorry Amber...I just read Marianne's post about this too. Breaks my heart. I know you guys were so close with your GG and she sounds like an incredible person. Its comforting to know that you will see her again someday...You guys are in my prayers and I love you guys xoxo
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