Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Terrible Two's...and probably three's... and fours
I've been feeling really bad because I'm having such a hard time with Kinsey lately. She has entered this phase where she whines ALL the time and NEVER listens. Everything is a fight. I have really been struggling with my patience and it makes it hard for me to enjoy her so I feel guilty. Anyone else ever feel like this or am I the worst parent ever? I'm sure she is struggling with having a new baby around and not getting my undivided attention but it's driving me crazy!! We used to have so much fun together and play and laugh, but now even when we are playing she wants to fight and/or whine. She is so incredibly independant and has to do everything on her own including buckling herself into the carseat. So everytime we want to go anywhere or are leaving it'll take 20 min just to get into the car not to mention the half hour it took just to get her to put on her dang pants. Everytime we go somewhere I have to tell her I'm going to leave without her if she doesn't come on. Sorry for the complaining but today I'm feeling the need to vent so I don't take it out on my precious children. Don't get me wrong I love her with all my heart but there are just those days...
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8 comments:
Oh Hunny, i feel your pain! i have been in that stage with Coen for over a year. some days are good, and others i just want to rip his head off. ha ha!! I love Coen too, but yeah. I dont have any advice, cause i havent figured out what to do either. if his whinning get where i cant handle it, he gets sent to his room. SO sorry no advice here, if you figure it out let me know. just wanted to let you know you are not alone and you are not a terrible parent!! Hang in there, it will ease!
I am praying that Lilly outgrows this phase very quickly!! She's sitting on my lap right now whining about not being able to play with my camera. Ahhh. I also feel guilty for being impatient about everything. Hang in there!
oh, the joys of two's... Theron's there,and I'm totally there with you. Yeah, I haven't figured it out either, but you aren't alone. :) I try and let Theron do what he can on his own and then I just have to wait until his world falls apart and he cries for help when he can't do what he was trying to do on his own. Drama. I guess it just makes the happy times that much more special. That's how I'm trying to look at it anyway.
Isnt motherhood so fun:) haha. Amber I am in the exact position and I know a whole lot of other moms that are in this postion too! Brayton is exactly like Kinsey and he also does this thing where I will ask him if he wants cereal, he will say yes, so then when I am getting it out he freaks and starts crying cuz he doesnt want it. So then I say ok you dont have to have it so then I put it away and then he throws an even bigger tantrum becuase he wants it!!! Literally I want to beat this kid so bad I have to put him in his room or timeout to help me not beat him! I am not kidding. I get so frustrated. Or when he thinks Im not watching him and he will step on Raylee's hand or whatever and then she starts to cry and he is right back in time out. I have literally cried at night because I dont know what to do and I feel like such a horrible mom. Alot of the time he is awesome and is so cute and I am always like why do I always get mad at him and want to beat him:) he is sooo cute. Then 20 min. later he is throwing a fit. Holy long post sorry but man raising kids is flipping hard!!!!! I am so glad I am waiting a long time to have another!!!! good luck with everything and lets hope they grow out of this phase and FAST!!!!!
Oh Lady, everyone whos ever had a two year old knows what your going through, they are the best / worst /funnest /most awful times! They grow out of the whining and turn it into talking back when they get older though so no hurry! We're working on enjoying the good days over here because they grow up so stinkin' fast
K, this may be long! THE BIGGEST BLESSING that i have been given as a mom is LOVE AND LOGIC! They have courses. books and videos, and they teach the most precious ways of getting through to your kids. Making the kids feel like you are on their side. And it works miracles.
Here is what you do. Noah had the worst problem with complaining and whining. It took a week to get him out of it just like this.
As soon as she starts whining, complaining, or throwing a tantrum. Get down on her level. Show her that you are sympathetic. Give her your undivided attention, and make sure she sees your very understanding expression. Say "Kinsey, it makes me so sad to see that you are unhappy. I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU. But I cannot understand that you are saying when you say talk that way. Mommies can only understand big girls words." Then take two seconds to mimick whining and complaining, vs. how a big girl sounds. She will get it. Then stand up. Tell her " You are very special, and I want you to be happy. I WOULD LOVE TO help you, when you are ready to show me that you can talk like a big girl."
Then the hard part. She will either whine a little more, and get mad at you. Or she will catch on. But the big thing is, that you don't give in until she does what you have told her is appropriate. You should only have to do that 5 or 6 times in a weekend, before she GETS IT!
Now, if Noah wants to thow a tantrum, he knows that he will be ignored until he talks to me, using words that I can understand. He wont get anything he wants by complaing, or yelling. So he just doesn't do it. I really have had to practice this and remind myself to do it for a few years now. But I really don't know where I would be with out it! It is amazing! It works with almost any situation. The kids basically choose the outcome, and they know what to expect this way. And it gives you something to use that is reliable. Your response is always the same, the kids freak out less. I hope it works for you. Be strong! Don't give in, and you will be much happier for it!
Okay, Aimee, I loved your comment! Will you come over to my house and tell me how to do it? Pretty please?
Amber, we all have days like this, trust me. It's so hard to have patience, when you're "in the moment", but I think we should try Aimee's tip. Now if I can only think of doing that before the anger sets in! :)
Hey, Amber! Your dad send me your blog. I'm a little slow...just now entering the world of blogging :-). Ours is julieandscottyoung.blogspot.com.
Hope to see you soon!
Hugs,
Julie
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