Grandma Twilla

Travis's grandma Twilla passed away this afternoon. I don't even know where to begin in writing this post. We all knew it was coming and were emotionally prepared. However, when it actually comes, are you really ever ready for someone close to you to go? I have mixed emotions. I wish she were still here for me to learn from. In the four short years that I have known her I can honestly say that there isn't a sweeter more optimistic person on this planet. Even during her last days on earth there wasn't a complaint out of her mouth. When asked how she was feeling or if she needed anything all she would say is "Can I just look at you? I just need smiling faces. You are mine you know? Aren't I lucky?" These were the things she always talked about- her loved ones and how we should always cherish them. Every time I saw her she would tell me to enjoy every minute of having my little angels because they will grow up and move away one day. She always reminded me of what I should be focusing my attention on and what is really important in life. Last week she was telling us of her life during the depression and how they wouldn't dream of going to the store to buy food. Instead, they worked hard for their food and canned it to store it for winter. She told me that the most important lesson she learned in life was to stay close to the church. I left feeling so grateful for the things that I have that have come easily in life, including food and the gospel. She was such a sweet and kind hearted person. I truly am blessed to have gotten to learn from her.

Although I miss her, I am also happy for her. I know that she has been reunited with her husband, who passed over 30 years ago, parents, siblings, and son. How exciting for her to see them again and be in such a much better place. I am grateful that I know where she is and don't have to wonder if there really is life beyond mortality. It would just be too hard to lose a loved one and not know that I would see them again. I am grateful that Travis's family can not only feel sorrow and grief but hope and peace in knowing that she is happier and that they will be reunited with her one day. The passing of a loved one always brings life into perspective and leaves me asking myself so many questions. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I giving my kids enough attention? Do I let my husband know how much he means to me? Am I wasting too much time on things that don't matter? Do my kids know how much I love them? And my parents and siblings? and the list goes on... So, Grandma Twilla, you are such an inspiration to us and we are lucky to have known you. We love you and will miss you until we see you again.